The Power of Suffering: 3 tips to grow your pain tolerance.

Most of the joy I’ve found in life has been on the far side of suffering.

I spent 30 years as a runner, but here’s the truth: I never liked running. People assumed I ran because I “loved to run,” but I didn’t. I loved finishing. I loved the relief when it was over. Maybe two or three times ever, I experienced the so-called “runner’s high,” but almost every run, it was a grind. What I did love…stopping. No seriously, the joy came in the sense of accomplishment after doing something I didn’t want to do. The relief of stopping. The hot shower after many miles. Clean, dry clothes after being salty and sweaty for hours. Or the hot shower after running hours in freezing cold temperatures.

The Appalachian Trail taught me the same lesson, on a much bigger scale. I hiked nearly the entire 2,190 miles, but with about 200 miles left I suffered a hip injury. It was excruciating to step off trail so close to the finish. Physically, I wanted nothing more than to keep going—even if it meant destroying my hip. But I had to make the responsible choice. My then husband was about to deploy overseas for six months, and I knew spending time with him before he left mattered more. That decision was its own form of suffering: choosing responsibility over ego, long-term health over immediate gratification. Growth doesn’t just come from pushing through pain; it also comes from making the right hard choice, even when it’s not the one we want.

And then there was the time I ran the Cinco de Miles 5K with a migraine. If you’ve never had a migraine, let me try to help you understand. In addition to the pain that is nearly intolerable, there’s also light sensitivity and noise sensitivity that make even the smallest noises or even the dimmest light excruciating. Add in nausea and vomiting, and it’s nearly impossible to leave your bed.

The week before, I’d run the Eastern States 20-miler and scored one of my fastest times ever. I didn’t have to go and do a 5K the next week—in fact, I probably shouldn’t have. It wasn’t one of my smartest training choices. But I had promised a friend I’d run the 5K with her, so I showed up.

When I got to the race, the speakers were blasting La Cucaracha at full volume. It was torture. But I ran. Somehow, I even set a PR that day. The finish line photo shows my face twisted in sheer pain. I don’t usually buy finisher photos, but I bought that one because it captured exactly what the day was: one of the hardest, most miserable races I’ve ever run. I finished, sprinted past my friend, and went straight to the porta-potties to vomit. Awful? Yes. But it taught me a lesson I’ll never forget: if you can endure pain, you can accomplish anything.

I was reminded of this recently listening to The Nick Bare Podcast (Episode 119: Be Undeniable: Achieve Greatness and Sustain It with Cameron Hanes, May 5, 2025). Around the 46:54 mark, Cameron talks about the value of suffering—how the hard things are where growth really begins, and how sacrifice and pain are what separate those who sustain greatness. His words echoed exactly what my own experience has been: the wins worth celebrating always come through suffering.

And here’s the truth—I’m not special. I’ve never been the fastest, the strongest, or the most talented. Even in business, I don’t win on genius or natural skill. My success has come from putting my head down, grinding, and enduring discomfort longer than most people are willing to. Research shows that this ability—what psychologists call “distress tolerance”—is one of the strongest predictors of success, in sport and in business. The entrepreneur who can endure the most uncertainty and discomfort for the longest time is usually the one still standing.

Physiology tells the same story. Growth is a response to stress. Muscles only get stronger by being broken down. Endurance only improves by pushing past fatigue. Psychologists Tedeschi and Calhoun coined the term “post-traumatic growth” to describe how struggling through difficulty often leads to greater resilience, gratitude, and purpose. We don’t grow in the comfort zone. We grow in the suffering.

How to Build Your Pain Tolerance

Neuroscience takes this one step further. In an episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast (How to Increase Your Willpower & Tenacity), Dr. Andrew Huberman explains that the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC)—a part of the brain tied to motivation and perseverance—actually grows stronger when we repeatedly push ourselves into discomfort. Around the 1:14:54 mark, he dives into how this brain region acts like a “neural gym”: every rep of discomfort strengthens it, making us more capable of enduring the next challenge. Later in the episode (~1:50:58), he even suggests practicing small “micro-sucks” each day—little tasks we don’t want to do—as a way to train resilience over time.

The best part? You don’t need an Appalachian Trail hike or a marathon to build this. You can strengthen your pain tolerance in small, everyday ways:

• In daily life: Walk your dog on that freezing, snowy morning when you’d rather stay inside. Do the chore you’ve been putting off.
• In the gym: When you want to quit 15 seconds before the bell, don’t. Squeeze in one more rep when you’d normally rack the weight. If you’re comfortable pressing a 12kg kettlebell, push yourself for one extra set with the 14kg.
• At work: Volunteer for the presentation you’ve been avoiding. Take on a project that scares you. Each step outside your comfort zone is another rep for your brain.

These micro-reps of discomfort add up. They expand your capacity to handle stress, pain, and challenge. They make you more resilient—not just in training, but in life.

The gym is one of the best places to practice this. Every sled push, every interval, every “I don’t want to do this” moment is an opportunity to build the part of your brain that allows you to keep going when things get hard.

Joy is found on the far side of suffering. Not in the easy wins. Not in the comfort zone. But in the grind, the discipline, the resilience that builds over time.

So here’s my question to you: Do you lead your life in the pursuit of comfort?

If so, maybe it’s time to challenge that. Step into some discomfort. Try some hard things. And then notice what kind of joy waits for you on the other side.

P.S. If you’re ready to put this idea into practice, our 42 Strong Fall Fitness Challenge is kicking off soon. It’s 42 days of showing up, building resilience, and pushing past comfort — in the gym and in life. You’ll surprise yourself with what you can accomplish when you commit to the hard things.

👉 [Learn more about the 42 Strong Challenge »]